Tips for Tough Pastoral Situations

From Lesley’s email to our small group leaders:

“Because this topic was raised at our last meeting, here is a really helpful (and also brief) training video from the Zero Suicide Alliance.  If you click on the drop down menu for "Training", there is a 5-10 minute Suicide Awareness Gateway Training (adequate) or the Suicide Awareness Training full version 20 minute (really excellent).

If you have been personally affected by suicide, you may want to ensure you watch these at a time and place that feels safe for you and be aware that this might raise some upsetting feelings or memories so make intentional space to process that with the Lord or another helpful/supportive person.

https://www.zerosuicidealliance.com/

MIND have also produced some really helpful resources.
mind - supporting someone who is suicidal

The safer your group members feel in your group, the more that tricky and upsetting emotions may emerge so we want to equip, train and support you as you provide pastoral care for those (or yourselves) who may be struggling. The two resources above give more information than I am able to give in this email but in general for our own context:

  • Whenever anyone is self-harming or feeling suicidal it is helpful to articulate to them that should they feel in crisis that they can call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or New Kapporet (Christian support line open between 3-11pm) 0808 801 0585 and someone will listen without judgement. 

  • They should call 999 or go to a&e if they have overdosed or actively self-harmed or feel in danger of doing so.

  • Remind them that they are valuable and loved by you and by Jesus.

  • Their GP should be their first port of call as they can offer suitable support.

  • If you have a pastoral concern in your group like this please do escalate to your Cluster Leader who can provide support and advice.  They will advise if it needs further escalation or resources.

  • Be aware of your own responses and how you are feeling.  Your wellbeing as a leader is also important. Let the Lord minister to you and hand this burden to Jesus for him to carry

  • If you lead a small group for under 18s then please follow our Safeguarding Policy on self-harm and fill out a CV Concerns form on the Safeguarding link at the bottom of our CV webpage.

Any other questions, comments or suggestions please do not hesitate to contact me at lesley@croydonvineyard.org.uk

with love,

Lesley

Croydon Vineyard