Friday 24th June - 2 Corinthians 11

Today’s chapter is 2 Corinthians 11, you can read it here

Tom writes:

Sometimes it is necessary to “up the ante” in our relationships. Occasionally strong confrontation is essential for people’s wellbeing. Knowing how and when to do this is one of the biggest challenges in life. Marriage counsellors see poor conflict management as a huge cause in relational breakdown. Management consultants see poor conflict management as a huge cause of workplace troubles. Pastors see poor conflict management as a huge cause of spiritual shrivelling. Do you know how to do confrontation well? Here are some tips from Paul. Firstly Paul steps back for the very specific complaint to explain his commitment to the relationship and his overall motive for raising the issue. I don’t know about you but if someone stresses their care for me and their desire to see me do well I am much more open to what they will say. A statement of commitment in the midst of an argument is like a spray of air freshener in a room with a wet dog. “I am jealous for you… God knows I love you”. Ahh! What a wonderful whiff. Let’s tell people we love them more. Let’s tell people that we are for them. After the statement of commitment Paul lays out in quite emotional language the specific nature of his complaint. He makes himself vulnerable by stressing his fears for the Corinthians and telling them what he wants them to change.

When the Corinthians have read this letter they could be in no doubt what the confrontation was about. Paul made it clear for them. As hard as it might be for us to really expose ourselves to people - to really state our fear of where we think their actions are leading - it is essential for us to do so. When we equip them with clarity we enable them to consider our perspective and to come back to us in a way that builds up the relationship, even if they disagree. Finally, as believers, we have the third “C” of Christ which we can bring into conflicts. We can embrace the humble manner of Jesus who was willing to look a fool for the sake of others. We stress that we are struggling for the sake of this relationship. We act in faith that just as God honoured Jesus, he will choose to use us when we ask him to use us as we walk in his ways. So there you have it; three tips for doing conflict well; 1) express affection, 2) be clear what you are worried about and 3) ask God to move to strengthen your relationship. If we do conflict like this, it might seem foolish, but it gives God a chance to really move. 

Question for reflection

How do you currently manage conflict?