Tom writes:

Relationships will cause us sorrow and, if we desire to have wide open hearts to others, that sorrow will occasionally be overwhelming. What Paul says in this chapter is that that kind of sorrow can actually be some of the best stuff that ever happens to us, if we respond to it well. Let’s break this down. Paul sees all of us as works in progress. None of us are yet fully holy. None of us have “made it”. But we are on the way there and, if we really understand life, we will earnestly desire to get there. We know that the kindest thing God could ever do for us - the greatest expression of his favour and his salvation in us -would be for him to transform us into the likeness of Jesus. If we really understand the beauty of holiness, if we really have grasped the utter delight of becoming like God, we will gobble up every experience of sorrow as a chance to repent and become…

So let’s walk through the steps. Sorrow in relationship inevitably produces great indignation or massive regret. When this happens I can easily turn inwards, stewing on what has occurred, resentful that a hardship has been brought into my life, trying to minimise consequences or hide from what has occurred. I can easily decide to erect boundaries to protect me; I could use human-constructed means to help me feel better right now and safer in the future. A piece of relational death would occur, and probably some spiritual death as well, as the two things are so closely entwined. Now let’s imagine instead we follow sorrow into the favour of God. We know God’s greatest gift to both me and you would be for us to be transformed into the image of God. And so, we see this sorrow as a microphone amplifying an issue that God wants to work on. We don’t shut things down to protect ourselves, but neither do we just affirm everything that has been in place. Instead, we invite Jesus to show us the transformation he wants to bring. That transformation may be in me. It may be in you. It may even just be in our understanding of each other, as we are both grasping wrong ends of the very same stick. But the crucial thing is that godly sorrow draws the source of sorrow under the favour of God. Godly sorrow fights to maintain affection for people, to keep hearts wide open, and to see the beauty of holiness perfected in every relationship, as much as others will allow. I know this stuff is hard. I understand there is complexity. But I’m so hungry to be someone who prefers transformation to recreation, who is mature enough in Jesus to let him use sorrow to actually make me like him in every single way.

Question for reflection

When you feel sorrow do you a) try to ignore it and just move on, b) stew on it in yourself or c) process it with God in prayer, leading to growth and Kingdom Come?

2 Corinthians 7 - Monday 17th June